''Father, defend me in my marriage, cast out every demon that has possessed my husband's heart''. Proverbs 21:1 says, "The king's heart is in the hand of the lord, he turns it whichever way. Oh God turn my husband's heart away from sex and all things of the flesh during these 100 days of fasting, in the name of Jesus. Towards the end of my prayer, I suddenly got an inspiration from the Holy Spirit on what to do next.
There was no point trying to tell Kenny he could not have sex with me, I only had to use wisdom to avoid it by doing things that will not even get him interested. So I decided not to have my bath the whole of that day. I knew how much Kenny liked me bathing and all clean. By the time he got home around 7pm that day, I made sure dinner was ready. I could not have been more wrong because another argument ensued as soon as he came in through the door.
''Madam, have you sorted out your issues yet?'' he said.
''What issues Kenny? Please come and have your dinner''.
''Did you think I was joking? Did you think not taking your bath will work on me? Or you did you think I will not know you enough to know that not taking your bath is a tactic to avoid sex?''
I was quite shocked and kind of speechless that he immediately realized what my plan was.
''Kenny, please be understanding. I need to consecrate myself to God''. I resorted to begging instead.
''Lola, get it straight, I am not asking you not to fast. What is wrong with having sex between 6pm that you break your fast and midnight that the next day starts? That is all I am asking'' he tried to negotiate.
''I am sorry Kenny, I don't believe that is good enough. I am supposed to be consecrated for 100 days. Having sex during that time just makes me feel unclean''. I explained.
''What is unclean about sex between husband and wife babe? It is totally biblical''
''See Kenny, you just need to be patient. I have just 85 days left and then we can go back to doing the dirty''.
''Let me tell you something Lola, this is the last time I will have this discussion with you. If you cannot find a way to balance your marriage and fasting, then you just might not have a marriage to come back to after your 100 days''.
''What do you mean by that Kenny? God forbid such confession?'' I said immediately.
Kenny left me standing there and went into the room. My surprise was complete later that night when he moved most of his things to the guest room. I was going to beg him but I just later decided it was for the best if he stayed in the guest room for the next 85 days. This was probably God's way of creating a solution for me. I went on my knees that night and sang in gratitude to God for making a way for me where I thought there was none.
By day 60 of my fasting and prayer, I was officially frustrated. The joy and excitement I got from fasting and prayer had gone. Kenny and I had become total strangers in the house. He had not eaten my food in over 6 weeks and I was officially worried. He had started coming home quite late and we did not even talk anymore. Every time I tried to talk to him, he just shut me out. We both went to work and came back and went into separate rooms. I did not even know where to start from. I knew for a fact I had not done anything wrong and was just doing the best for our marriage and I wondered constantly why Kenny was so blinded by unreasonable rage. I wondered where all the promises of not going to bed in anger went.
I finally reached the end of my rope that week when I got a text from him around 8pm saying,
''Don't wait up for me. I wont be coming home tonight''.
I could not believe my eyes and I immediately sent him a text saying,
'' Where are you? Why wont you come home?''
His reply made me burst into tears. ''Please ask the holy spirit to reveal it to you in prayer''
My marriage is in trouble.
[9/28, 12:15] +1 (757) 805-9179: BATTLE 3
I decided that night that I had had enough of Kenny's erratic behaviour and we needed counselling. I waited for him to come home the next morning but he never showed up. I called him around noon when I was getting worried but he did not pick my call. I got a text shortly after saying,
''I am quite surprised you are looking for me. Don't worry, I am fine. Don't let me distract you from God''.
I decided it was time to seek counsel from my pastor's wife.
As I sat down with Mummy as we normally call her that evening after a word of prayer and recounted the full story of our challenges from the beginning of the fasting period. I was quite hopeful that I will get solutions on the next step to take. Mummy looked at me and shook her head as I showed her the last text I got from Kenny from my phone.
''Sister Lola, what does the Bible say about our parents and honour?''
''Honour your father and mother, that your days might be long'' I quickly replied wondering why we were talking about my parents when it was my marriage that needed healing.
''Do you remember when you came to me and decided you wanted to marry this young man who was barely a baby in the lord. I warned you to look for giants in the spirit. If you had honoured my words, surely the days of your marriage would have been long'', she said with obvious annoyance.
''I am sorry mummy, I love my husband and I think he loves God too''
''He loves God? You are still defending his actions? A man that cannot agree with you in prayer? That will not deny his body to feed his spirit? She asked me.
''I am sorry ma'' I quickly said. Mummy was known for her short temper and I did not want to get on her bad side.
''Anyway the deed has been done. We need to find a way forward. You see the devil is not resting. He is obviously seeking to devour your marriage. Remember the scripture in Ephesians 6: 12 says, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers and against the rulers of the darkness of this world. The battle is not with your husband. It is a fight in the spirit''.
''Okay ma'' I said.
''The devil knows this fast is going to liberate your marriage and he wants to stop it at all cost. The flesh will be satisfied eventually but you need to be spiritually fortified first. So make sure you complete it in total consecration to God''.
''Okay ma. What do I now do about his refusal to come home ma?''
''Oh don't worry Lola, he will come home. He is like the prodigal son, he will surely return. Let us pray my dear''.
By the time I left my pastor's house after about two hours of prayer. I felt stronger and better. Kenny was just over reacting and I was definitely on the right course. I just needed to keep praying and not let me faith be shaken. When I got home and met Kenny relaxing in the sitting room, it confirmed to me that everything mummy said was correct since he returned like she had prophesied.
As the days passed things got more estranged. Kenny stopped going to our church and demanded I move to this new church he found. Of course I vehemently refused. It is important to be grounded and not church belly-hopping. I got daily text motivations from my mummy in the lord and that just encouraged me.
Finally the last day of the 100 days came and it was announced in church that couples should endeavour to attend together since there was going to be an all night prayer. I begged and pleaded with Kenny but he adamantly refused. I went to church alone that night and prayed every prayer possible. My joy knew no bounds the next morning because I knew that all the fight I had been n by having with Kenny was finally going to be over. I was going to make sure we had as much sex as he wanted later that night.
1 comments:
Thanks for sharing my story. I blog at www.foreverwithtundeoni.blogspot.com I appreciate the share but pls write written by Tunde Oni