There are many myths told about the Irish: that
they’re fighters, they’re stupid, they’re belligerent, or
that they never forget. Nonsense.
The truth about the Irish is much harder to pin, and
much more elusive than they’re given credit for.
There's even a line - falsely attributed to the great
Sigmund Freud but telling nonetheless - that says
“This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis
is of no use whatsoever.”
So how can you tell the reality from all the myths?
Well you can start here, with IrishCentral's top ten
myths about the Irish.
1. The Irish are always friendly
Many Irish people will happily give you the shirt off
their back, but others would much prefer sue you for
it (especially if there’s a disputed family will in the
mix somewhere). Usually the Irish are genuinely
friendly, but like anywhere a lot depends on who you
are, where you are and what you are.
Quibbling aside, the land of a hundred, thousand
welcomes deserves its reputation because the truth
is that most Irish people can be so kind and
considerate it will take your breath away. But like
anywhere, a few nettles sprout among all the roses,
so tread carefully betimes.
2. The Irish are religious
Even avowed Irish atheists will call upon all the
angles and saints when there’s a crisis or they’re in
danger. But that doesn’t mean they’re deeply
religious, it’s just a reflex hardwired into them from
birth. You trip, you sprain your ankle, you’ll call the
Lord’s name (and many others).
The truth is most Irish people are much closer in
spirit to Father Ted than to Rome, and they always
have been. James Joyce, as always, put it best: “O
Ireland, my first, my only love/Where Christ and
Caesar are hand in glove.” If you can reconcile those
two opposing forces and learn to live with them
without giving it another thought, you’re well on your
way to being Irish yourself.
3. The Irish can sing
Two words: Ronan Keating. Make those three words:
Chris De Burgh. Let’s face it, even housewives
favorite Daniel O’Donnell is no threat to Luciano
Pavarotti - and he’s dead. Not every Irish man can
sing a rousing rebel song on request, despite what
you see every time in the movies.
Irish people can however reduce you to heaving sobs
with their songs about lost love, lost land and faded
hopes. Be warned: otherwise perfect social evenings
can be brought to a standstill by the power of just
one Irish ballad competently sung. Your guests may
weep copiously or begin to think about snow falling
faintly, and faintly falling, and if it does happen just
go with it, it’s the Irish way.
4. The Irish are stupid
Pull the other one. You’re in the native land of the
scholar (the saints, like the snakes, were evicted
long ago). Trust me, all those Paddy the Irishman
jokes you heard growing up (about the guy who
always gets it wrong) are an expression of anxiety,
not contempt. People have been calling the Irish
thick for centuries. They’re fools.
Take Edmund Spenser, the Elizabethan poet, for
example. He tried to denigrate the Irish in his
genocidal pamphlet “A View of the Present State of
Ireland,” written in the early 1590s. Spenser’s
propaganda pamphlet argued that Ireland would
never be totally pacified by the English until its
language and customs had been completely
destroyed, if necessary by violence. (Irish rebels,
possibly acting on his own advice, later drove him
from his County Cork home).
For many contemporary scholars Ireland’s James
Joyce is the true heir to William Shakespeare simply
in terms of his influence and cultural impact.
5. The Irish are charming
Anyone who has ever ordered a cheese sandwich
from the joyless drudges who staff the Bus Áras
canteen in County Monaghan knows this is not true.
The Irish are not always charming. In fact some Irish
people have perfected a stare of such hostility and
perfect contempt that the memory of it will never
leave you.
6. The Irish have red hair and freckles
Just as not all Irish women are tempestuous
redheads crying out to be tamed by an avuncular
John Wayne stand-in, not all redheaded Irish men
are leading donkeys carrying turf bags to the fair.
There are quite a few blonds (bottle and natural)
knocking about the old sod; black hair and brown or
blue eyes are a common feature too (think of Cillian
Murphy or Jonathan Rhys Meyers). Nowadays Ireland
has become a much more intercultural place, so it
may be time to update your image of it.
7. The Irish are happy to start a fight
Whilst it’s fair to say the Irish are a passionate lot,
it’s wrong to assume they’re always spoiling for a
knockdown fight. In fact when someone makes a fool
of himself by acting belligerently in public most Irish
people will cringe and designate him a fool – and
when an Irish person comes to that conclusion about
you, you’ll be considered a fool all your days.
8. The Irish are drunks
The Irish don’t drink more alcohol than any other
western nation; they just have more conspicuous fun
in the process.
9. The Irish are great storytellers
Well yes, and no. Whilst it’s true there are Irish
people who can tell tales to delight or terrify you,
they’re not all born with the gift. In fact the Irish
have produced the woman that literary experts agree
is the worst novelist who ever lived. Amanda
McKittrick Ros was born in Ballynahinch, County
Down in 1860 and according to The Oxford
Companion to English Literature is “the greatest bad
writer who ever lived.”
Amanda self-published her own series of novels in
the late 1890’s and instantly won a devoted
following, but the critics savaged her. McKittrick Ros
faith in her own talent was undiminished however,
and she replied by calling them variously: “bastard
donkey-headed mites, clay-crabs of corruption,
denunciating Arabs, evil-minded snapshots of spleen,
talent-wipers of a wormy order.” Her revenge is that
today we quote her, and not her detractors.
10. The Irish never forget
Not true. Ask Thierry Henry. After his handball at the
qualifying France versus Ireland World Cup match,
there are literally millions of Irish people desperately
willing themselves to forget what he did. Their
attempts to do so may be as insincere or short lived
as Thierry’s apology, but give them some props for
the effort.
